Mr2Nice123:– A single 40-somethings guide to dating

No contest!

Well, I assume you have been waiting breathlessly by the keyboard pressing refresh to get the scoop on my latest dating exploits! As you can see by the time gap I have been busy. Here’s the details.

Went on third date with “J”. Again, nice but bland. Only gave me a peck goodnight. He then informed me that it was ‘my turn’ to make plans with him if I so wished. I pretty much spent the whole date (concert) thinking about the next evening with “R”.
Second date with “R” was additionally amazing. He came over and we cooked dinner together then saw the latest Bond flick. Now after the first great (but chaste) date, I warned him there would be kissing involved! And there was….lots. Funny, good cook, nice guy. Amazing kisser. And I was a good girl, despite the fact that I wanted him to rip my clothes off pretty much from the second we kissed.

However, during the week (prior to date #2 with “R”) I made firm plans to see “W”. After date with “R” I really wanted to break that date. There is no way I can spend that much time getting to know two guys. What if they were both nice?? What then?? Did I want to spend another date thinking of “R” and not who I was with?? AAAAAAAH. So I called and cancelled. Felt like crap about it but at least a mature piece of crap. He was very nice and said keep his number in case things don’t work out with “R”. Have avoided calling “J” though which I must at some point do. Oh, also High School Hottie called in the midst of all this and I had to tell him no more booty calls. (so many men, so little time!)

Third date was a sleepover with “R”. Must not get into details or Arlene’s site will get an R rating (get it??). Suffice to say expectations were met, and exceeded exponentially. Have pulled my profiles from dating sites, too. Is it possible to meet someone this great so fast? Am I crazy? Will I be good and call “J” with an explanation or suck out?? Is this all too good to be true???
…..Note to self: stop analyzing and enjoy it while I can!!

~Soup

Custom Geisha Wallet

Mr2Nice123:– A single 40-somethings guide to dating

Crazy times in datingland!

Times like these it’s best to have some good friends to lean on for advice. Arlene of course is always helpful and the best for a gal’s point of view. Like pointing out “Sympathy dates can lead to stalkers” or “His problem is he was Raised on a Planet that does Not have the Same Social Rules as Earth”…..but sometimes it’s handy to have a straight single male’s point of view. Kind of like a testosterone translation service for single gals. And of course the following are out:
· Relatives, who will be shocked at your social life (“You’d kiss him on the third date? Slut!”)
· the guy you are seeing, who will tell you what you want to hear
· gay friends, will tell you how fabulous you are, but may not have great straight advice

Luckily, I have one easily reached by e-mail. He’s been handy to have in my pocket so far – my last question on how to let someone down gently after a few dates (see ‘kissing your brother’ above) netted 2 possible responses and a rationale for each. So if you are single, please find one now. Invaluable, I promise.

For an update on the dating front – dinner last week with “D” again, -- again, nice. I think he has not had a lot of experience with women. No flirting (ok some moony eyes over the curry), no arm touching, or move to kiss. I did give him a quick peck goodbye (sorry Arlene) but no more chemistry. And he referred to it as a ‘smooch’ in an e-mail later. So, I’ve promised to accompany him to an event that needed prior confirmation on Saturday, but then I need to not see him anymore. I wish I could give him some confidence!!

Phone conversations with “W” and “J” took place, conversation with “W” turned into a quick coffee the next day, verrry nice. “J” nice on the phone too, but probably won’t meet him in person, his lifestyle is a bit collegiate for me at this point, so we probably wouldn’t have a lot in common.

Dinner with “R” was great…planning to get together again this week. He is definitely a rip my clothes off kind of guy…but was a complete gentleman (I set ground rules ahead of time and he was good at following them!). He also sends the best flirty e-mails. And he has a deep purring voice….sigh...

My conundrum now is whether to see “W” again, or to wait to see what develops with “R”...stay tuned!!


~Soup

You don't have to be a Biker to appreciate....

Wrist Cuffs! I have been making leather wrist bands that have a zippered compartment that you can keep small change in. Let me know what you think.

Mr2Nice123: A single 40-somethings guide to dating

Chemistry…. does it grow or is it there from the beginning??

OK, in the last couple of weeks (since date with coffee guy) I changed my pics on the dating sites. Now I’m finding my self pretty popular. (Can you hear me dancing to my theme song ‘It’s Raining Men’ by the Weathergirls??)

So far the action has been: one date with ‘D’ mentioned at the end of the last blog, with 2 more planned. Date with ‘R’ planned for this week. Phone conversations from ‘W’ and ‘J’ to take place some time in the future. Lots of smiles, nods, winks and various “How you doin’s?” from assorted other men who are not exactly what I’m looking for. Oh, oh now what….

OK, as for ‘D’. Super nice, interesting, makes me laugh, a sweet man so far....based on a couple of weeks of e-mails, phone conversations etc. However when I was actually with him I did not feel any physical chemistry from my side. (Kind of nerdy & shorter than me a bit) Now I know when this physical chemistry hits me, remember High School Hottie? Basically he could just smile at me and my clothes just kind of jumped off my body (or was that me jumping him?).

So girls, a conundrum…does a physical attraction grow? So far I’ve had a consistent vote for the no's. (3 for 3) He is so nice, too. I’m going to see him this week for dinner.

My gut is I will know for sure after I have dinner Sunday with ‘R’, with whom my gut is telling me (after e-mails and phone conversations as well) is a rip my clothes off type of guy.

Votes please, nice or naughty!

~Soup

Cradled Pyramid Tote with BONUS Card Case Wallet - Enchanted River

I drafted the 'perfect' pattern because it came together like a dream!

Little Geisha Girl Tote

I so love this fabric and have made a few items with it before. I designed this bag to showcase the remnant squares that I have left - nothing has gone to waste here!

Mr2Nice123: - A single 40-somethings guide to dating

An actual date with a real live guy!!

Yes, have been on an actual date with a real live guy, whom I met on line. It was for coffee. He was not someone I thought I would really “click” with, but you never know right?

I was also very interested in finding out whether he was ‘as advertised’ in all ways - did he look like his picture? Was he accurate in his descriptions? Did his personality really come through in his e-mails? Enquiring minds want to know!!

Also we did not speak on the phone beforehand, so I really only had a sense of his personality through the e-mails.

My expectation going in was he would be nice and polite from the e-mails, but not perhaps fun or flirty. And guess what, it was exactly as I thought!

He did look exactly as he described himself, and the picture was recent. He was definitely polite and nice. However he obviously had not read up on dating.

Now, I will back up a bit - I am a research nut. I try not to get too much information, which can be confusing, but I tend to try and sort through a pile of information, digest it and apply what I think works best for me. So I researched dating and flirting a lot. And there are some cardinal ‘first date’ rules. Like no ‘ex’ talk, be prepared with some fun flirty questions. Lots of eye contact and open body language. Not too revealing with the personal details. Dress up a bit to show some effort.

So he came in work clothes (ok, well he did come from work, but you can take a change of clothes). I got some angry ‘ex’ stories (baggage). No eye contact (nervous? intimidated? schitzo?) so who knows? Light flirty conversation? Well, not if you count his ‘ligament injury’ story. And lots of personal details. Oh and he tried to kiss me after - I did an involuntary cheek turn!

Now I don’t want to sound too harsh, he did send me a lovely e-mail the next day.

So, interesting all in all, but no chemistry!

I do have another date this week with another guy….I have had an actual phone conversation with him that went well, he sounds fun and easy to talk to. His e-mails are full of personality, so I am looking forward to meeting him and will give you an update later!!

~Soup

La Jolie

This style of handbag is name after my daughter - Jolie

This one is made out of a combination of faux suede and a chenille:

This one is made out of a flocked floral wool tweed:

Mr2Nice123: A single 40-somethings guide to dating

On-line Dating the: The First 3 weeks

Well, you must be asking breathlessly what about the on-line dating? I have to say it is extremely entertaining so far! Let me break it into categories for you:

1. The Intense Romantic from Far Away Guy

Yes, I have had several, all coincidentally from England who, apparently I am their Soulmate. Strange, intimate, flowery e-mails I share with you an excerpt: (sic)

“I never believed there are angels like you will be on this site, seeing your profile has really made me forget to ask how u are doing.well let me not be taken away by your beauty, I must tell you the truth you among the wonders of Gods beauty U re the best...”

Each hopes distance is not an object. Guess, what it is!. If I can’t find a man to date me within 25 miles, I should not be doing this at all!! The creepiest thing is that I have had more than one profession of love like this. Ick.

2. Distance Should Not Be an Object to my Studliness Guy

Guess what, it is. Yes, even if you come to my city regularly. See above.

3. You’re Too Young Guy

If you’re too young, I know what you want. And I can get that pretty regularly already, thanks!

4. The Too Short Guy

Sorry, you may be a nice person. But I mean it when I have a height requirement. Please don’t make me tell you you’re too short. I get to choose here, not you.

5. The Intense Guy

Really, I don’t want to hear about past experiences with your evil ex. As a matter of fact, in the battle of the Evil Ex’s I would win. Hands down (Arlene will back me up here) so don’t even try. Hire a therapist and lighten up!!!

6. The Trailer Park Guy

Now you’re scaring me, what about my profile says !Trailer Park! to you???

7. The Guy Who Gives Good IM

He’s cute, he’s funny, he’s smart, he’s flirtatious. Then no communication for a week at a time. Is he married? Is the computer the means to the end for this guy? Will we ever meet in person???

…..stay tuned!

~Soup

Noah's Ark Leather Card Wallet

This leather is fabulous!

I could not resist this piece of leather, this is the result:

Mr2Nice123:– A single 40-somethings guide to dating

Real live men – as confusing as they ever were!

While I have made the plunge on the on-line dating sites, I have not ignored the old fashioned way to meet men, live and in person. (OK, I’ll admit, before I was married MY old fashioned way to meet men often included several shooters, a bar and loud music). While my job in a fabric store offered slim pickings’ in the male department, I did happen to meet one in my neighborhood.

Now this guy and I go WAY back. To high school, in fact, where we knew each other but weren’t friends. By coincidence we have both moved to the same area and have run into each other at various times during fifteen years or so I have lived around here, although each of us has moved, been married, had kids and subsequently divorced during that time. Now he lives a couple of blocks from me, and we would chat a while if we bumped into each other.

Being the clever gal that I am (and he being tall, cute, eligible, without facial hair and able to string several intelligible sentences together) I put a plan of action together. Namely asking for referrals for household repairs. Which, of course necessitated the Exchange of Phone Numbers.

So far so good. I took the plunge after he hinted several times that, as a single parent I should make sure I had fun, took care of myself, etc. So I asked him if he would like to go for a beer.

His response? “I’m really busy”, followed by “a list-of-why-I’m-so-busy”... OK, I can deal with a brush off. After several supportive calls to Arlene who convinced me it’s Him not Me.

So now the confusing part. A couple of weeks later, we meet again. He invites himself over to my place. We have some beers and a long talk, having similar experiences with life & kids etc. We make out. Sex ensues. (rationalization: I HAD to sleep with someone else than my ex). We meet again about a week later. I get the “too busy to get involved with anyone right now” brush off again.

More calls to Arlene who is convinced he was Raised on a Planet that does Not have the Same Social Rules as Earth.

Anyway, even though I am confused, I like the sex. So now we have a Booty Call arrangement. And I am less confused, although some days I feel like the neighborhood Sam from Sex and the City.

Which can’t be a bad thing, can it???

~Soup

Pagoda Evening Clutch - Silver Leather

Mr2Nice123:– A single 40-somethings guide to dating

On line dating, not just a meeting someone, it’s a career!

OK, I have taken some initiative and joined two on line dating sites and asked a Real Live Guy out (more on that later). Oh, then I took my profiles off the dating sites. Then I rejoined.

Let me explain my uncharacteristic flip/flop on the dating sites. First there is some homework you need to do. Like writing a profile. In some cases you can’t even look to check out the goods unless you join, (which is kind of a waste, if you have pretty specific requirements, it would be nice to know if there are any sites better than others. Kind of like grocery shopping, I go to Loblaws for a different selection than Price Chopper). This can be an arduous process, and varies by site. Some sites rely heavily on drop down menus. For example; Turn Ons/Turn Offs: the choices being: thunderstorms, erotica, strategically placed tattoos, sarcasm….you get the idea. Not things I would put on my list, which would read more like: the ability to change a toilet paper roll, will eat leftovers, nice hands.

Other sites require you write everything yourself, which leads to a lot of the profiles sounding the same. Then there are pictures….please guys keep the shirts on! (Note to self: add ‘shirt off in profile pictures’ to ‘turn offs!)

So I finally did this and joined two sites. This was a few hours work, plus trying to get a decent self portrait with a digital camera.

So why did I erase everything? Because upon joining the site I was able to check out the competition! Then I got nervous. There are a lot of women out there who are stunning, well educated, and financially independent on these sites. When I came to my senses I realized there are also a lot of women on these sites who aren’t. So I rejoined.

I still am thinking about getting professional portrait taken, though.

Did you know there is a whole industry around this? Advice from Dr. Phil, professional portraits specifically for on-line dating, professional profile writing (talk about that personal touch), I’m sure there is a lot more, I can imagine….dating coaches…perhaps even a dating stand in?.....stylists……heck you could probably get married without even meeting the other person!!

~Soup

Silver Leather Wallet - Is there such an Animal?

Mr2Nice123:– A single 40-somethings guide to dating

Where to meet single guys? Not at a fabric store!

OK, so I’ve decided to start dating. There are a host of problems this raises:
1) Usually dating involves more than one person (going to the movies by myself does not count as a date, even if I have great taste in movies and am fantastic company)
2) Usually this person is the opposite sex. For me, at least

So just exactly how do you find a date? And, as importantly….

Where do you find time to date?

Finding time is difficult. We are talking (ideally) two people with busy lives already. Intelligent, attractive people with outside interests. Kids. Jobs. Two different schedules. In the same city. And, in my case two jobs, volunteer activities, family to visit, after school activities, part time college (2 courses this semester). So I calculated; this leaves approximately the hours between 7 pm Saturday and 10:00 am Sundays. Unless there is an assignment due. Oh, and did I mention that I have a dog to walk???

Now the above paragraph is making some assumptions, as you can see. That I am looking for an intelligent attractive male with kids. Who lives near me. With a job. And, by the way as I am really tall – so he has to be over 6 ft 1”. Oh, and my age. And looking for someone like me.

Notice I have really narrowed it down -- you note without actually assuming we would have something in common, Probably there are only 5 men within an hour of where I live that fit this description!!!

How do you find someone? I guess other single friends (none of my single friends live within 500 miles of me). Work? Well since one of my jobs is in a Fabric Store, you can guess the quantity of males that come through the door. My new second job in a real estate office may offer more hope, especially if I offer to help all the divorced males looking to buy a house some TLC. My Mom’s friends unmarried sons? EEEK (As a matter of fact I’m not even telling her I’m looking!) Bumping into old High School classmates? More about that subject to come…..

So with few other resources, I have stepped into the murky depths of Online Dating. Did I mention Voldemort Lite* was using online dating services while we were married? Which makes me very very cautious…..will it be Heaven or Hell??

*see previous post

~Soup

My New Everyday Tote

Extremely Vibrant!

The Start of something new

Since I haven't been the greatest at updating this blog, I thought I would through some spice in the mix. A new series will be started by an un-named friend of mine - not me. Read on!



Mr2Nice123: A single 40-somethings guide to dating

When my friend asked me to contribute to her blog, it took me a while to pick out a topic. So instead of being a supportive friend and talking about crafts, or her lovely bags, I am taking the selfish route…this will be all about me.

I am hoping that this will be cathartic, as well as saving me the cost of a therapist. You see, I am trying to date again. This will be my record for posterity.

Here is a bit of my background to set this in perspective. I am 46, and a single mom with two young sons. I was married for 10 years. I am amicable with my ex, (without cause, I assure you, if knew the whole story) whom I shall refer to hearafter as “Lord Voldemort Lite”*. After my experience with him I swore off men for the rest of my life. So now 3 years later, the rest of my life has arrived. I guess I have decided that All Men Can’t Be Bad, some are Kind of Cute, and I Miss Sex.

And with that comes dating.

Or at least trying to date.

So here is where I will record my thoughts and stories….stay tuned

By the way, the title refers to the type of ‘handle’ that is typically used in an on-line dating profile. More on that topic soon!


*with acknowledgement to Manolo the Shoeblogger

~Soup

Layce's Challenge

I was sent a beautiful amethyst pendant by Laycee of http:\\laycee.etsy.com

All I had to do was create something around it. This is what I created:

Laycee's Treasure Trove Evening Purse!

A Zippered Wallet for a Client

Geisha Girl Zippered Wallet

Geisha Girl

Featured in Rare Bird Finds

I just discovered that one of my key fobs was featured in the online magazine Rare Bird Finds!

Read all about it here: http://rarebirdfinds.typepad.com/rare_bird_finds/must_have_womens_accessories/index.html

Key Fobs are Here

I have been experiementing with leather to make key chains/fobs that I will use as promotional items or sell.




I'll be making more in the purse shape, because it makes sense to me.

Custom Hippie Pouch

These pouches seem to be a hit at every party I've done. They can be custom designed to suit your tastes.